For those who read my last post let me tell you what the Lord had in store for me the following day: I entered Job as the next chapter in my reading. Do you know what Job 1:20 says:
"The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised." ....funny Lord :)
So I believe I have "heard" 2 things in the last few days that I am holding on to and thinking about. The first is def. Job 1:20 through confirmation of God's word and an email from an old friend. The second is through a song I was listening to on Friday. I really needed to hear and feel the Lord's presence that night and I believe He delivered. Many of us have been through trials, long trials...things to process over a lifetime not to simply "get over." Long lasting illnesses, the death of a loved one, infertility, a lost marriage etc. The question is: What is/was the Lord teaching you during those times? Were you listening? What did you learn? Am I listening?....I'm trying!
This is a song from Marcy Priest. She led worship at our old church in Edmond. The song is called House of Mourning. Although I am not mourning the loss of a person I am going through cycles of grief. She has a BEAUTIFUL voice! The song says this:
" For to look upon the ending while I travel on the road, will make each step more precious & determined as I go.
I'll LIVE deeper
I'll LOVE bigger
I'll LISTEN closer to my heart
I'll be grateful from the start
On the very last day I want to KNOW my soul was AWAKE!"
That is my challenge: to let this time in my life make me live, love and listen better, bigger and deeper. When I do know the answer to all of this some day I will know my soul was awake. I will be grateful from the start, the very start...
2 days ago
2 comments:
You will look back on this someday as a blessing. I know it doesn't seem that way now, but it will.
I have been there, done that (didn't think it was a blessing at the time)...man can I relate to every word that you write. You are truly a blessing and you will be the great mother for this time you have spent trusting God.
I love Marcy Priest...how do we know her, she seems so famaliar.
You are an amazing woman of God and I admire you for being so strong. I know it is hard and some days it gets harder. I will be praying for you and your situation. I will pray for God to give you peace and understanding.
You have precisely the best mindset during this season. To ask God what He is trying to teach you is so much more productive than preparing invitations for an upcoming pity party that many would come to but wouldn't enjoy :)
I remember the day I found out I was pregnant with Noah. I wasn't feeling well but just couldn't take another negative pregnancy test. I cried out to God and asked, "Why can't I just have one child?" I was at the end of my rope. It was more than I could bear.
That evening I took another test. And a second pink line appeared. That day was three years and 10 months after we'd started trying to have a child.
I am proud of you, Erryn. I know your pain is still there but press into it, deal with it and allow the Creator of the Universe to become your Abba, your Heavenly Daddy.
His arms are very comfortable. Just lean back :)
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