You have to watch this. I think it is pretty funny :) Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwK#tLz904k

Listening...

For those who read my last post let me tell you what the Lord had in store for me the following day: I entered Job as the next chapter in my reading. Do you know what Job 1:20 says:
"The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised." ....funny Lord :)

So I believe I have "heard" 2 things in the last few days that I am holding on to and thinking about. The first is def. Job 1:20 through confirmation of God's word and an email from an old friend. The second is through a song I was listening to on Friday. I really needed to hear and feel the Lord's presence that night and I believe He delivered. Many of us have been through trials, long trials...things to process over a lifetime not to simply "get over." Long lasting illnesses, the death of a loved one, infertility, a lost marriage etc. The question is: What is/was the Lord teaching you during those times? Were you listening? What did you learn? Am I listening?....I'm trying!

This is a song from Marcy Priest. She led worship at our old church in Edmond. The song is called House of Mourning. Although I am not mourning the loss of a person I am going through cycles of grief. She has a BEAUTIFUL voice! The song says this:
" For to look upon the ending while I travel on the road, will make each step more precious & determined as I go.
I'll LIVE deeper
I'll LOVE bigger
I'll LISTEN closer to my heart
I'll be grateful from the start
On the very last day I want to KNOW my soul was AWAKE!"

That is my challenge: to let this time in my life make me live, love and listen better, bigger and deeper. When I do know the answer to all of this some day I will know my soul was awake. I will be grateful from the start, the very start...

he gives and takes away...

I'm not sure why, but I'm a little nervous to write this post. I think its because I've been wanting to write these words for a while and have never been sure of how to go about doing so. I'll begin with probably about 4-5 years ago. Our worship pastors' (at a different church) marriage was falling a part. His wife had left him and he took time away to try and reconcile and work through everything. I will always remember the first Sunday he came back and led us in worship...he chose to lead us in "He gives and takes away, my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name." I remember the emotion in the room and the tears in my own eyes in admiration of his willingness to sing those words during that time. My admiration in the Spirit of the Lord and His mighty power....Fast Forward- about 2 years ago I worked at an adoption agency and I was trying to place 3 children into a permanent "forever family." It was probably one of the most difficult and emotional times of my life. They were older children and so the chance of them getting a family was slim to none. We tried a placement and it failed miserably, the weekend it failed I remember being at IBC and singing the exact words of " He gives and takes away, my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name." Tears again streamed down my face as I tried to sing the words to that song. Difficult at best, but knew the words rang true in my heart.
I am at a season again that I find my eyes filled with tears when singing the same song. You see, about a year ago all of my friends and I started talking about how fun it would be to have children. Blake and I had MANY a conversations and when we were ready, we got off birth control. Friends started popping up pregnant and it was SO fun to celebrate those times but stung at the same time. We are now sitting at almost a year of trying with many questions going through my mind. As a believer I KNOW that the Lord is sovereign, in control and that I am fearfully and wonderfully made by Him...at the same time these exact words are what are so hard to hear and read. I believe it is a time of growth, a time to think outside of myself as babies come and families are growing all around me, a time to TRUST in God alone and nothing else-for my expectation to only come from Him. I am thankful the Lord is big enough to take my anger, my questions, frustration and moments of unbelief. I write this out b/c I am learning....I am learning how to process, how to be okay with tears, how to be "authentic" with the girls around me and at the end of the day, when the world is falling out from underneath me to stand firm in HIM. I am writing b/c I would hate to miss an opportunity to begin to share with others what the Lord is teaching me and the character of who HE is through all of this. My hope is that even on the bitter days, angry days, joyful days, tearful days that my heart would choose to say "Lord blessed be your name".

C.S. Lewis-by Brooke Fraser

Download: Brooke Fraser, C.S. Lewis Song...here are the words. I feel like this somewhat describes where I am right now and what I'm struggling to figure out or hold on to....

...If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy
I can only conclude that I was not made for here
If the flesh that I fight is at best only light and momentary
Then of course I’ll feel nude when to where I’m destined I’m compared

CHORUS
Speak to me in the light of the dawn
Mercy comes with the morning
I will sigh and with all creation groan
As I wait for hope to come for me

Am I lost or just less found,
On the straight or on the roundabout of the wrong way?
Is this a soul that stirs in me,
Is it breaking free, wanting to come alive?

‘Cause my comfort would prefer for me to be numb
And avoid the impending birth
Of who I was born to become

CHORUS

Bridge
For we, we are not long here
Our time is but a breath
So we better breathe it
And I, I was made to live
I was made to love
I was made to know you

Hope is coming for me

Wine Country Continued

this is a view from robert young winery

okay, i don't think that i should keep blogging for 5 days about our trip. i know i could, however I'll try to cut it short. our favorite winery was Far Niente. they had beautiful grounds and we had a tour complete with a tasting at the end. you should know that FN makes DOLCE. if you have never had this delicious drink you should go right now and buy it. it will cost you a pretty penny but when you can keep it open (fridged) for 4-6 weeks the price is well worth it. it is very sweet and delicious with just about anything. we tried it with blue cheese, it was great...i've also tried it on the back porch with semi-sweet chocolate chips and its just as fantastic! my other favorites were paraduxx, duckhorn, robert young and chateau st. jean. i think this has to do with actually sitting down, relaxing and chatting at these places. beautiful scenery and beautiful wine. we actually enjoyed a few white wines while in napa all at the places i mentioned above. i don't know if its b/c it was refreshing after a lot of reds or if we really enjoyed it but they were really good (a buttery finish you might say). we stopped and took pictures as much as we could. i also learned you should never ever take an olive from a tree and eat it however, you can take grapes from a vine and eat them! i would def. recommend anyone going to the "wine country". in fact, we will soon begin persuading our community group to save money for our next adventure. here are a few pic's below to complete the postings about our trip, unless i just can't do it and add another post :)

this is what a wine tasting looks like * thats dolce on the far right*

crushing grapes

far niente house

family photo in front of the dolce room

this is a view from lambert winery

Napa & Sonoma...and all surrounding areas

let's just say we are back from our 2nd honeymoon, in the guest house next to the in-laws and family. now, i don't mean that in a "hanky/panky" way, i mean we had a lot of fun and had a chance to relax for 5 days in a picturesque setting kind of way. i can't decide how to blog about it so for now i am going to start with day 1! We stayed in a little house in Kenwood (vrbo) with beautiful trees surrounding us. we had a great flight out and i didn't even have to take my dremamine :) we drove through SF on the way and that is a pretty neat little city. the houses are what you would want tons of pictures of. we also went there on the last day so i'll post those pictures later. we really had a great time with Dave/Cathy (rents), Lindsay/Tucker (siblings in law). we have missed the complete family time since Linds/Tuck moved to Cali. we cooked dinner every night and went to bed early since us texans were 3 hours off (2 hours plus time change)! Our first day included a stop at BR Cohn Winery which had great wine, but great chocolate and olive oil too! Cathy and i would have liked to stay in the chocolate/olive oil area but were summoned to the wine tasting! every winery truly was beatiful and unique. here are some pic's to start us off:

this is the dining room

  

this is the kitchen, i loved the lights

this is the outside of the house looking in    

    

this is the beautiful scenery from our house

 

and this is br cohn... let the fun begin!